Mystic Bliss Empowerment Cards by Colette are available
Initially I was going to call this post “Running on Empty” since it was a better conventional description of the feelings I have been having around my shift in awareness. However it is not really an empty feeling… simply, and beautifully, a lighter one.
As per normal, this post is a statement of something I am experiencing in my own life while working at being authentic and staying true to myself in my actions and thoughts. As always, it is my hope that my words generate inspired thoughts for your path and growth in reading about my adventures.
There is no awareness of the light if not for the shadow to contrast it
I need to start this off by expressing how, for most of my adult life, I have felt heavy and full. I would tell myself I was “grounded” and this is why it felt so earth bound. Yet I knew that what was often weighing me down was fear, doubt and anxiety. The full feeling was a familiar and strangely safe feeling even though I knew something was wrong.
It was wrong simply because I was unhappy in many things around my self expression and this, of course, affected my self-worth and clouded my self-identity. Many choices were made in my lifetime in the name of needing to stay in the familiar even if it meant feeling stifled and heavy.
Full of hurt and confusion and running on what was negative rather than what I desired seemed to be my MO.
A few years ago I started making choices that reflected my larger desires for my life. It was a bit of a painful process as one can imagine because it was often like slowly tearing off a band-aid. I could not do it in one fell swoop because I had no idea what to expect if I did release and fully stepped into my own light. Still I made progress each time I stayed true to myself.
It started off by no longer scolding myself if I made a choice that appeared “wrong” and instead taking the opportunities to see the lessons in the results, no matter what they were. Each time I did this process it seemed I released some of the inhibitions that kept me from my true voice. In these small but impactful releases, I grew stronger and more sure. The need for approval from others, which had always haunted my decision making, grew smaller and smaller while my awareness of my inner guidances grew stronger.
The other day I was writing in my journal and suddenly I came face to face with a very strange realisation: I was feeling positively empty. And I mean it… POSITIVELY empty. My fears and anxieties had been reduced to next to nothing. There was no pain or regret in what I was writing and feeling. I was looking back on recent experiences and choices and feeling nothing but gratitude and love even though some things had not worked out quite as I had hoped. I was operating under the understanding that all had happened as it had needed to in order for me to shine, stand tall and see myself clearly in a sustainable way for maybe the first time. Instead of negative heavy feelings I was light and free. 
The rest of the day I puzzled through my thoughts and feelings and came to the conclusion that, although it felt somewhat alien to me a little to feel this light after so many years of being heavy and full of fear, I could get used to being in this vibration full time.
I also knew it was what I had always felt was possible through past experiences of brief clarity and being completely in the now for short periods of time.
There was a particular moment of release recently that I can actually pin point exactly for myself that I know triggered a whole reset in my thoughts and awareness. This very personal event completed the process and set the blocks in myself to start tumbling down. Momentum has been building since then.
I could go on but already this post is longer than I expected it would be and in truth it is time for me to allow you to reflect on what I have shared here and give you the opportunity to review for yourself how heavy or light you feel and tell you that it is my experience that this is a choice we make for ourselves that sets up a pattern.
The good news is that patterns can be changed and there are many tools out there to do so.
If you wish some additional guidance towards your own healing reach out to those offering energetic healing, yoga and mind mapping or other options for healing such as the card readings or coaching I offer.
There are many of us out there and if you need a place to start check out the Holistic Chamber of Commerce chapter near you for a practitioner that resonates for you. Trust your guides and inner knowing. I have and I feel blessed.
