It has been a little while since I could say that I woke up in the morning with a smile. But that is what happened this morning. Even the air feels lighter the last few days.
The truth is I am still not sure just what the trigger was since things seem to be shifting too fast to keep track of since the start of 2017 so I decided to reflect on this during my journal writing this morning. I thought this a fitting share for a blog at this time… my first in quite some time it appears.
First, let me backtrack a bit…
Things have been on a bit of a stall during 2016 especially around my marketing of Mystic and all things related to it. Sure, I did launch the second deck of the series and managed to continue to capture and write for the 3rd deck but I stayed low key in blogging, posting and promoting of what I have been doing. In fact it took me a few moments to remember how to access my website admin but I did without having to contact my tech help for a refresher. (Side note: Something I am quite proud of actually being somewhat intimidated by some technology at times)
Mystic had gained momentum in 2015 and opportunities to do related projects like workshop facilitating and public speaking started coming my way and yet for some reason I only lightly entertained doing these in earnest. Finding excuses is not hard when you not ready to step into the bigger picture from a point of ego. The events I did do were successful but ego said “don’t push your luck… stay smallish and you’ll be safe”. Something inside of me was not ready to step out of the comfort zone I had created.
The truth is that I can attribute it to a lack of focus but mainly it seems I succumbed to the fears failing in the tasks and opportunities that may cause me to stretch a bit. In my mind I called this “rest” period Personal Development Time and in fact it did serve this purpose on many levels however it feels like I am being pushed and guided to step out again and use the resources, insights and tools I spent the last 12 plus months accumulating.
So, regardless of the fact that my ego is still arguing with my heart and soul that I have left this part of the equation, the blogging, marketing and promoting that is, slide for far longer than intended something has shifted and instead of the ego winning the battle with it’s whispers of fears and doubt I find my energy vibrating and my soul reaching out to do the “more” I know is in me. I had gone inwards in 2016 because I was embarrassed by my own vulnerability when in fact I tell others to embrace this part of their uniqueness through my words and images.
The realization that I spent the last 12 not being fully engaged had me a bit sad as we neared the end of 2016 but yesterday I made a big decision to stick to my guns and have Mystic become the main source of revenue for me in 2017. I am happy when I am doing what I love. Mystic is my path, my life and my destiny! I am prepared to show the Universe that I refuse to remain down when challenged about my purpose and that I am once again prepared to do what it takes to regain momentum.
So now the gratitude part.
Like many, I know that the situation I found myself in in 2016 was in part where I needed to be to explore what insights I could take out of the experience. I am grateful for how clear this message is for me especially the last 3 or 4 days. Society and conformity would have me be something or someone else but I know for sure now that that person, when I work at blending in and sticking to the status quo, was not a joyful person. The dis-ease of conformity within me was overwhelming and to have continued on that path would have potentially destroyed my light. So although I stubble at times back into old patterns, the stay is now far less lengthy or weighty. That is because I have tasted the sweetness of the other side of my story. I face 2017 with renewed commitment.
My intended message to you in all this is:
Several things happen in your life that your ego can latched on to as a reason to for you to stay small using the dialogue of “safe”, “known” and “accepted”. In this context these words do not hold the proper meaning to help one grow… they are merely layers of the veil intended to soothe you into complacency when fear of your depth and potential is working at keeping you small and distracted from the work or healing you are pulled towards. Trust that, even if you get off track now and again, you are still moving towards your intended destiny… you merely needed to detour to gather additional information to share with those you will connect with along the light path.